| life is hard
its impossible > <
i always try to keep positive and clear my mind and breathe it out whenever its going wrong or when anything really gets to me.
but ive just had enough of it .. its too much .. everything is just too much.. i dont have the courage to go on like this
i hate it i really want to give up, give up everything, give up this whole situation its just so confusing and difficult
i hate it so much i cant keep this fake smile on my face no more in front of my friends > < i cant
i just want to leave everything behind.. so fed up of facing everything
so afraid .. so afraid of everything... of everyone, people are frightening
i want to hide |
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| 媽咪bo d糖水好好味! ^^
開心番 :D
還是什麼都不想那就好了
希望大家都開心&身體健康!
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| 又來了 這種逃避的感覺又來了
又想起你 想你開心
want to see how things are with you
but would even leaving u an offline message hurt u even more?
would any interference with your life make u unhappy?
i realli want an answer~
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| 人人常歡笑不要眼淚掉
時時懷希望不必心裡跳
在那人世間相助共濟
應知人間小得俏
世界真細小小小
小得真奇妙妙妙
實在真係細細世界
嬌小而妙俏
^。^ |
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| recently so many people's blogs are about everything is changing,
i guess everyone's mature enough to see that nothing's ever the same,
unlike when we were under 5 or something, who used to think that there were actually super heroes and villains
and that super heroes are the ones that always win. Like power rangers, i used love them and i still do now. XD
i love seeing how they all come together and form that 'giant' robot thing (cant remember what its called =.=)
then the 'victory' music starts playing in the background as a sign that they would win (ofc). I used to watch it over and over again
and never seem get bored of the same storyline.
i still prefer the old suit :P
And everytime 8 in the morning i always watch Bear in the Big Blue House(or something like that... or maybe big blue door..? o.o) before I go to
primary school. When it rains at playtime in primary school, we always had wetplay and in reception, teachers usually put on TV shows and programmes
like The Wombles or 'How to Write' thing on..
When i come home i just eat lunch with family and just watch TV like 'Art Attack' and that 'Magic Hand' thing when theres just 2 hands through a curtain
one with the blue silky glove and the other with a yellow silky glove, i used to love it. Now, looking back, i loved my daily routine.
So relaxed.
Up until now i've just been living in the same place and doing the same things over and over again and the same times like:
6.00am - alarm rings (then i'd hit 'snooze')
6.15am - alarm rings (then i'd hit 'snooze')
6.30am - alarm rings (then i'd hit 'snooze')
carries on until..
7.30-45am - wakes up turns off alarm and rush everything(wash hair, brush teeth, get changed, do hair, make up if i feel like it)
8.15am - leaves house trying to run for the bus with sister if it hasnt gone yet..
8.35-40am - late to school
(on some occasions probably wake up at 9.30am when ive turned off alarm... then went back to sleep.. then get to school by 10am, missing our first 2 periods).
3.00pm - registration & wait for sis
3.20pm - walk home
3.4pm - get home, changed, eat lunch with fam, watch TV
5.00pm - get work out on the table and faffle about random things or nothing.. =/
6.30pm - START doing work
8.00pm - shower
9.00pm - Dinner & TV
10.00pm - finish off work & TV
00.00am - finish work & prob a bit of msn and FB
1.00am - go bed
7.30am - wakes up - eyebags + panda eyes
thats why im always late.. i never used to do much work = =''
[or basically - that was my year 12 life..]
but still i have never realised how much things have changed since probably like when i was in year 10 or something.. and now i think of it more and more
as stress and pressure starts to get heavier and heavier.
everyone's already sent off their UCAS applications and waiting for replies or may have already got some, when i havent even done my personal statement
but i have until January.. or maybe i should get it done ASAP. <-- dont like this word.. pressurises me
Too much to think, too much happening lately, too much to cope with, too many changes, everything is just too much,
i feel weak arleady, and so much more to go through.
now i really treasure the times when i was younger.. so carefree and relaxed.. i love my cousins, they remind me of us 4 :) i am greatful i have siblings ^^
4 of us is enough - we'd always argue over small things but stick for each other too when life gets hard .. [JEEZ - so much cheese.. T_T]
i really miss that summer when our loft is being made into a room.. our stairs on the 1st floor corridor werent even there.. my room used to be bigger than it is now
the room up in the loft used to be filled with dust and planks of wood and.. 2 wasp nests o_o.. i miss the wasps flying around in our house, stung me when i was asleep,
dead inside the toilet lamp (LOL - yeah wierd.. ), the times when i secretly went up into the room in the loft before the floorboard was installed and
read my Jaquline Wilson or Animal Ark books (LMAO).. these books than i read over and over again in the same pages but never got to finish it - (cos i got bored)
i really miss that soft carefree summer breeze
why do i even have time to post this shit up when i could be using this time for my geography.. = =''
This is Life - ''time only matters when its running out'' - by (someone who i forgot the name of)
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